I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize