Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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