i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
