sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
