She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
