He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
