they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
