Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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