two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
