Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
