Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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