Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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