i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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