can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Randomize