I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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