He kissed a someone with a penis
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
as a side note pls kill me
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
