goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
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It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
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We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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