Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I hate all girls vehemently.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
