David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
