dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
