there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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