Apparently you make a good broom.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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