umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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