What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
We're too hungover to prance.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
