Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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