just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
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