on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
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