Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
