Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
