The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
