come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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