just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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