We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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