Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize