what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
