Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
