So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.