Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?