How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
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He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
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Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.