You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.