she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Randomize
