Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.