Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(757): View more from Virginia

he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.

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(757): he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so. http://tfl.nu/ifvf

Replies (42) Good night (7541) Bad night (708)
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(716): View more from New York

i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...

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(716): i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward... http://tfl.nu/0sye

Replies (14) Good night (616) Bad night (4593)
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(604): View more from British Columbia

She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.

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(604): She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking. http://tfl.nu/ilmx

Replies (112) Good night (52041) Bad night (2022)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.

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(215): I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk. http://tfl.nu/289e

Replies (12) Good night (4796) Bad night (1144)
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(302): View more from Delaware

do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?

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(302): do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships? http://tfl.nu/h1g6

Replies (150) Good night (1786) Bad night (6059)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.

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(860): I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name. http://tfl.nu/83o9

Replies (22) Good night (5627) Bad night (1007)
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(502): View more from Kentucky

All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.

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(502): All I need is the Internet and a place to drink. http://tfl.nu/np52

Replies (1) Good night (1614) Bad night (1067)
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(410): View more from Maryland

YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.

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(410): YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me. http://tfl.nu/lzgg

Replies (4) Good night (2039) Bad night (871)
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(302): View more from Delaware

I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.

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(302): I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not. http://tfl.nu/ul0b

Replies (16) Good night (1570) Bad night (641)
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.

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(262): Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI. http://tfl.nu/aihj

Replies (3) Good night (876) Bad night (1290)
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(407): View more from Florida

How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color

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(407): How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color http://tfl.nu/2fci

Replies (26) Good night (700) Bad night (2178)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has

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(860): Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has http://tfl.nu/jd7y

Replies (2) Good night (813) Bad night (472)
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(425): View more from Washington

I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.

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(425): I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck. http://tfl.nu/ljdy

Replies (0) Good night (659) Bad night (295)
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(540): View more from Virginia

that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic

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(540): that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic http://tfl.nu/gwhk

Replies (2) Good night (688) Bad night (357)
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(757): View more from Virginia

I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.

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(757): I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One. http://tfl.nu/azcx

Replies (0) Good night (1259) Bad night (289)

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