my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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