it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
