I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
