So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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