So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize