So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
