Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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