what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
