Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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