Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Randomize
