Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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