I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
