As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
