That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
you will always have a special place in my vag
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
