tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
