Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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