I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
