wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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