This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
