I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
