put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
