Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
All I want is dick and wine.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
