I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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