Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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