swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
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